Category Archives: Uncategorized

Twas the night before Christmas, when all ‘cross the Web,
Not a single Tweet was trending as I went to bed.
I set my privacy settings on Facebook with care,
In the hopes that warm statuses soon would be shared.

On Foursquare I saw my kids had already checked in,
To their bedroom, where my daughter stole Mayor with a grin.
And my wife on her tablet, going tappa-tap-tap,
Had updated her blog before our Christmas nap.

When from my smartphone, a notification went ‘Pong!’
I shook it out of its holster, to see what’s going on.
I unlocked the screen, I flipped up the keys,
And entered my password with unparalleled ease!

My wife looked at me with a yawn and she said
“Just check it in the morning, honey. It’s time for bed.”
But I just couldn’t ignore that blinking red light.
“I’ll only be a second. Go to sleep, it’s all right.”

It was Facebook again. What’s this, I’ve been tagged in a pic?
At this time of night? It’s gotta be Nick!
My brother-in-law, he was always online.
And he would tag me on Facebook all the dang time.

“It’s your brother again,” I said to my wife, half asleep,
“He’s all up in my profile, and he’s being a creep!”
She rolled over in bed and sleepily muttered, “Just drop it!”
But I said, “No, tell your brother to stop it!”

I sprang out of bed. “I’m going down to the den!”
“I’m going to chat with your brother. We’ll settle this like men.”
It was dark in the bedroom, but by the light of my phone,
I saw my wife shake her head. I guess I was alone.

I always hated the den late at night, it’s so cold.
But I waited for the computer to boot up. God, it’s old!
But now it was ready, this old, tired box,
I took hold of the mouse and opened up Firefox.

My homepage is Google, as it has been for ages,
My custom iGoogle set up is one of my favourite pages.
“Oh yeah, Google Plus! I should see if anyone’s on!”
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, on to Facebook! I typed the name in the bar!
Time to settle that Nick! He’s just gone too far!
I clicked on the globe with the little red “one.”
Time to see this dumb pic where Nick had his fun.

When the pic loaded up, my eyes filled with tears!
Nick had made a collage of my wife, through the years!
The caption read, “To my sister’s man and her family, thanks for treating her right!
“And Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!”

-Ted.